How to get past your fears!

Some people say to face your fears.  I disagree.  I say to look PAST your fears.

If you face your fears, that means you focus on them.  If you focus on them, they become larger.  They become more real.

Don’t focus on your fears, focus PAST them.

In martial arts board breaking, we don’t focus on the board itself. We focus every ounce of our being a few inches PAST the board.  We don’t focus on the obstacle, we focus past it.

Take a second and visualize that.  Picture yourself about to ‘karate chop’ a board.  To begin with, focus on the board itself.  That board is constructed NOT to break.  It’s hard!  It’s certainly harder than your hand!  You could very easily break bones on it.  At the very least, you’re going to get a really big bruise, some scrapes, and maybe some splinters!  Hey, I’ve seen it happen!

Mentally what will happen is that if you’re focusing on the board, you’re going to automatically stop at the board.  That’s where your focus is!  You’re actually giving the board more power.

On the other hand, picture yourself focusing about eight inches past the board.  Focus on the goal.  The goal isn’t the board itself, the goal is somewherepastthe board.  If you focus on the goal strongly enough, the board loses its power.  You actually blow past the board and barely feel it.

It’s the same thing with our own goals.  Too often we focus on our fears.  We focus on the rejection, or the disappointment, or whatever it may be that we’re afraid of.  By focusing on those, we give them power.

We need to focus instead completely on the goal itself.  Focus on how important it is that you reach your goal. Build your passion about how it will affect your life.  How will it affect others’ lives?  How might it be bad if
you don’t reach your goal?  Whose lives will be affected then?  Feel that emotion, and let it give you strength!  How good will it be when you do reach your goal?  How will that affect your life and the lives of others? Internalize that feeling.  If you focus on your fear less, and your goals more, your fears will fade away.

Let’s do an exercise.  Reach your arm out in front of you, close your fist, and stick your thumb up in the air. C’mon, do it.  Reach your arm out in front of you, close your fist, and stick your thumb up in the air like you’re giving someone a big ‘thumbs up’.

Now, focus completely on your thumb.  Notice that when you do that, the background fades away?  Take a minute and do it right now.

Now, do the same thing; hold your arm out in front of you with a big thumbs up, but this time focus NOT on your thumb, but on the background; Look PAST your thumb and focus on whatever is behind it.  Notice how your thumb goes out of focus?  How it basically fades away?  It’s still there, but if you look past it you can clearly see your goals.

If you look past your fears at your goals, and focus on how important THOSE are, your fears will lesson, and perhaps even fade away completely.

Terry Fossum is a speaker, author, and television personality who inspires audiences to overcome their fears and achieve new levels of performance. Learn more at www.TerryLFossum.